Inner Strength
by Waiting for my Soulmate
Summary: ArcherT'Pol fluff. please r and r if you have time. there's nothing else to say really. author's note inside. Finally Finished!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star Trek

"Are you feeling alright captain?"

The question roused Archer from his reverie, where he had been gazing off in to the vastness of space. He had not been himself for the last few weeks, and people were starting to notice.

First to notice was the captain's oldest friend, Trip Tucker, who had quietly asked the question while on the bridge. Then the good Doctor Phlox had a quiet word with Archer when Porthos came in for his check up. Next, Hoshi Sato alluded to the Captains apparent distraction, until soon all of the senior staff had spoken to Commander Tucker, expressing their concern for their captain.

The only person who seemed not to take any notice was Sub-Commander T'Pol who, if anything, had seemed to withdraw from the general atmosphere, becoming more aloof and even cold towards the crew, who had only recently begun to accept the Vulcan in their midst.

Back on the bridge, Commander Tucker asked to speak to the Captain privately, hoping to get to the bottom of the problem. They went in to the Captain's office, just off the main bridge, all of the senior staff craning their necks to see what was happening. Only T'Pol remained uninterested, staring at her viewer.

The door cycled closed and Tucker turned to Archer, a mixture of expressions on his face.

"Cap'n, are you...feelin' alright? Don't take this the wrong way, but you've been a little distracted lately, and people are starting to worry about you."

"Trip, I'm fine. I'm just....."

The silence stretched, prompting Tucker to look up at Archer, to see an odd expression on his face. It looked almost like...fear, anxiety maybe. The look was frozen on to the Captain's face for perhaps twenty seconds, then he visibly shook himself and looked at Trip.

"What was I saying?" he asked, in a perfectly normal manner, as if there had been no break in the conversation.

"That's it Cap'n, you're gonna see the Doc. You're not doing the crew any favours by making out that you're alright. I'll have him remove you from duty if I have to" the threat was meant as a mild wake up call, and Trip smiled to let the Captain know that he was only mildly joking. The idea of having his ship taken away from him was like a red rag to a bull, and Trip had no desire to incur Archer's wrath...after all...he WAS the Captain.

Tucker practically frogmarched the Captain down to sickbay, then left to conduct a diagnostic on the plasma injectors (A/N, do I sound like I know what I'm talking about? lol)

"Ah, Captain, what a pleasant surprise! What can I do for you?" asked Phlox, his ever cheery voice ringing through sick bay.

"I need you to run a quick scan on me Doc. Trip's worried about my concentration and I'd be grateful if you could just let me go with a warning" Archer made to get off the diagnostic bed, but Phlox firmly planted a hand on his shoulder, simultaneously running a scanner over the Captain. A slight change in the Doctor's expression told Archer that there was something not quite right.

Captain,' Phlox began in his careful way, 'have you been taking drugs for any reason?"

"Not unless you've given them to me' Archer smiled at his light humour, then continued, looking a little troubled 'why? Have you found anything?"

"I may have, yes. You've got raised levels of certain chemicals in your brain, and that might be causing your lack of concentration. If you don't mind Captain, I'd like you to take a few hours off...I just want to run a few tests. I could make it an order..." Phlox slipped the veiled threat in to his request as he saw Archer about to protest.

"Alright, fine,' Archer grumbled, 'but only for a few hours, then I'm getting back to the bridge"

At Phlox's nod, Archer swung off the bed and headed out of the door, possibly to the gym, maybe to his quarters, Phlox didn't know. As soon as the doors hissed shut behind the captain, Phlox moved to the intercom system on the wall. Flipping the switch he asked for T'Pol, reaching her on the bridge and asking her to come down to sickbay. While he waited, the doctor fed a small batlike creature and took a second, then a third look at the results of the Captain's scans.

The doors to sickbay opened again and Phlox turned to greet the Vulcan second in command, his ever cheery demeanour undimmed by T'Pol's emotionless expression.

"Ah, there you are, I hope you are quite well today" he said, bustling over to the large area that served as his desk

"Doctor, I am rather busy on the bridge. What did you need to discuss with me?" T'Pol, as usual, got straight to the point, joining the doctor at his desk.

"I'd like you to have a look at these scans for a moment, if you would"

T'Pol looked at the scan on the doctors computer screen for a moment, then turned to Phlox

"This is not possible. These chemicals should not...cannot be present in a human, and the underlying characteristics are undoubtedly human. These are typical to Vulcans during a meditation ritual, I know of no other species which produces them."

"That's what I thought. T'Pol, have you been meditating with any members of the crew? Hoshi, for instance?" asked Phlox, collecting samples together in a small case.

"Yes, I have guided Ensign Sato in meditation, also Ensign James and Lieutenant Addison. Why?"

"Just a theory I'm pursuing. Have you meditated with the Captain, by any chance? Helped him to relax?"

"I attempted to do so during the first contact with the Liarians...the Captain became...somewhat agitated and decided to abandon the exercise. I did not force him to continue; indeed I was surprised that he agreed to meditate with me in the first place."

"Ah ha, I see" was the doctor's enigmatic response. "You can return to duty now, but I would like you to return at the end of your shift. I need to run a few more scans, then I will need your help."

T'Pol nodded her assent and left Phlox alone with his theories.

----------

As requested T'Pol returned to sickbay at the end of her shift, where she found the doctor, gingerly feeding his selection of animals. He seemed particularly careful of a large furry creature, which he fed with a long padded glove. At T'Pol's enquiring gaze he explained that the creature, a Mondosian Firecat, was entering its mating season, and was apt to scratch, bite and burn anything that came near it.

"I imagine that it must be an endangered species then" T'Pol spoke as evenly as usual, but it was clear to the doctor that she had attempted to make a joke.

Knowing that she would hate to have so 'human' a trait as humour recognised, Phlox got straight to the point.

"Understand that everything we discuss here is covered by doctor-patient confidentiality. You may have noticed that the Captain has not been himself for the last few weeks...would I be correct in suggesting that your feelings...er...that is...sentiments towards Captain Archer are a little more than just concern on a professional level?"

Phlox dared to look up and meet T'Pol's eyes, and her stony demeanour did nothing to encourage him. He waited for her to speak,

"Captain Archer and I have developed a professional relationship based, I believe, on mutual respect. To use a human term, I would call us...friends. There is nothing further between us, nor is there any desire for anything more." T'Pol believed she had effectively quashed the doctor's theory, but the Denobulan had more to share with her.

"You're sure about that?" asked Phlox, in a deceptively calm voice, the tone that always meant that you were about to be proven wrong.

The Sub-Commander almost sighed, but she restrained herself from the show of emotion. The doctor was getting dangerously close to the truth, but how had he discovered her secret? Had there been some emotional display that he had noticed? Her scans, perhaps? It would be illogical (A/N had to get it in somewhere!) to believe she could keep the secret from Phlox, he would dig until he found it anyway. She reasoned to herself that it would take up ship's resources to have the Doctor engaged in a crew related mystery. T'Pol would never entertain the notion that she might want someone to confide in, but the idea was tempting.

"As you know, Doctor, Vulcans do not show their feelings, although we do have them. I have noticed that, in the course of this mission, my feelings have been...changing...toward the Captain. I have come to regard him as a true friend and as a good man. It is regrettable that he is human, and incapable of controlling his emotions."

"But surely, if he did so, he would cease to be such an effective leader and ambassador for the human race."

"I fail to understand how this has any bearing on the Captain's current indisposition" some of T'Pol's Vulcan acerbity returned as she prepared to leave sickbay, her confidences clearly over.

"Well, now...hold on a moment and I'll explain. I would like the Captain to be present for this, as it concerns his medical records, if you do not object."

T'Pol was not overjoyed at the idea that Phlox might expose her secret to the Captain. If anything was sure to get her a transfer, it was admitting to entertaining vague thoughts about her commanding officer in more than a strictly professional way. But there were strict rules about confidentiality, which meant that she had little choice in the matter.

There was a few moments wait while the Captain was summoned from his medical exile, during which T'Pol tried to compose herself inwardly, ensuring that her emotions were under tight control. She found a core of inner strength, one that she found she had been drawing on more and more of late, and used it to steady herself in anticipation.

The door hissed open and the Captain entered, looking around for the doctor, eager for news. He looked a little perplexed at T'Pol's presence, but overlooked it in his impatience, scanning sickbay for the doctor, who suddenly appeared from behind a screen.

"Doc, what have you got for me?"

"If you'd just sit on the bed for me Captain. Have you had any more lapses in concentration since we last spoke?"

"Funny you should ask Doc, I don't remember having any, but Malcolm said I was standing in the middle of the corridor, dead to the world, just before I came here. I think I might be trying to avoid you Doctor" Archer chuckled at his own joke, but typically, T'Pol remained stoic and Phlox chose to ignore the feeble attempt at humour.

"Captain, I believe I have found a reason for your lapses. I understand that you meditated with Sub-Commander T'Pol a few weeks ago...in fact only a few days before you reported your first problems. I believe you may have accidentally bonded during the meditation, and that the two of you are using each other for emotional support. I believe that the times when you appear to be losing concentration are when the Sub-Commander has greatest need of your inner strength to bolster her own reserves. I'm afraid that you will have to follow the same ritual again in order to lessen the force of the bonding, although research suggests that it will never truly disappear."

The doctor stopped speaking and waited for a response, but it seemed that the Captain had been shocked in to silence for the first time. Phlox gently suggested that he might want to take some time to process the information, which had the immediate effect of slapping Archer back to reality.

"What?!' He turned to T'Pol and speared her with a look, 'did you know about this?"

"No Captain, I was not aware that this could happen outside of Vulcan. I am...dismayed over this turn of events and I will schedule an appointment to rectify the situation as soon as possible."

Archer left his seat at Phlox' desk and began pacing the deck, an action which betrayed his agitated state of mind.

"Can we hear each others thoughts? How far will this 'bond' go?"

"If allowed to develop, the bond will get stronger, allowing us to read feelings with greater accuracy, possibly even coherent thoughts. This will not happen unless further bonding takes place, nor if either party is unwilling to allow the connection to continue." T'Pol said all this in, if possible, an even more emotionless voice than usual, seemingly trying to distance herself from the situation.

Archer breathed a sigh of relief, "alright, fine, I have to get back to the bridge, we can do this de-bonding after shift tonight." He made one final turn on his pacing, then abruptly left sickbay. Phlox, having given the two commanding officers a moment of privacy, hurried to the wall comm and called for the Captain.

"Ah, Captain, you cannot return to the bridge. I must insist that you take the rest of the shift off, a lapse at a crucial moment could be disastrous for this ship and it's crew. I have no compunction in relieving you of duty, if such a course becomes necessary."

"Alright Doc! I wish people would stop threatening me with that....you could have just said, you know" Archer sounded a bit peeved, but none the less, phlox exacted a guarantee that Archer would not return to the bridge.

Turning back to T'Pol, Phlox fixed her with a Look.

"you know, I've studied Vulcan rituals, and the type of bond that you initiated with the captain only occurs during betrothal or marriage ceremonies. And one, or both, parties must want the bond to occur..."

"Doctor, thank you for your concern, I believe I understand your hints, but they are unfounded. The bond was a mistake, I did not realise that it could occur between humans and Vulcans, I would have been more careful if I had realised. If there is nothing else Doctor...?"

Phlox sighed inwardly...she was never going to realise her own feelings

"No, nothing else Sub-Commander, thank you for coming down"

T'Pol left sickbay quickly, making a slight detour to her quarters, where she lit her meditation candle and sat for a moment of quiet reflection. She left her quarters, heading to the bridge; briefly leaning against the bulkhead for support, trying not to call on the inner reserves of strength that she now knew came from Captain Archer. As T'Pol smoothed her thoughts and face back in to Vulcan composure a voice, very, very deep inside sighed at the stubbornness of Vulcan women.

A/N flames are accepted and even expected on this one. Don't think I'll be trying this pairing again!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N it seems that this pairing was more of a success than I thought, so upon request, here's the next chapter

Jonathon Archer paced restlessly in his quarters, which wasn't very satisfying; he could only take a few steps before turning. He wanted to be back on the bridge, but the doctor had threatened to remove him from duty. Archer didn't really think that Phlox would do it but, truth be told, he didn't want to cross the doc, he'd become a valuable friend. And, Archer thought to himself, T'Pol was on the bridge, and he didn't want to have to face her.

>>how did we…bond? >>he thought to himself. >>why me? She's meditated with other people. Did she do this on purpose?...no, she couldn't…could she?>>

He stopped pacing and made his way other to the computer terminal at the desk, ordering it to search for all known files on Vulcan meditation and bonding rituals. There were three pages of files, most of them with only a brief mention of meditation. A memo on how Vulcan dignitaries should be given an ante-room to meditate while they were on board. The use of meditation in Vulcan marriage rituals. Etiquette training for Starfleet Admirals when meeting a Vulcan. hang on, _marriage_ rituals? Archer tried to access the file, but a message flashed up on the screen

THIS FILE HAS BEEN LOCKED. ACCESS CODE REQUIRED

He tried a few of the other promising looking options, but the same message appeared. Archer sighed to himself; there was only one person on board Enterprise who would lock these files. He knew that T'Pol would be on duty until 21:00 hours, and he remembered that they were supposed to be meeting to perform some sort of 'de-bonding', Archer didn't know what exactly it entailed, but he did know he needed to have a serious talk with his second in command.

At the appointed hour, the Captain stood awkwardly outside T'Pol's quarters, although, quite why he felt awkward, he couldn't say. He rang the door chime and went in at her answer. He found a small table, set with T'Pol's meditation candle, just as he had only a few weeks earlier when the bond had apparently been formed. A rustle of movement at the edge of his vision caused Archer to turn and what he saw took all of his diplomatic training to stop his jaw dropping. T'Pol stood framed in the doorway, formal robes falling to the floor. She crossed the room and sat cross legged at the table before acknowledging the Captain and gesturing for him to seat himself opposite her.

He did so, then silently slid a padd across the table, showing the blocked files. She had the grace to look slightly discomfited for a few seconds before the Vulcan composure reasserted itself.

"Since you've chosen to stop me accessing these, I'd appreciate you answering a few questions…if you don't mind, that is?"

There was the briefest of small sighs before T'Pol looked up and met his gaze squarely, giving permission to ask whatever he wanted, but not promising answers.

"Alright then, how did we do this?"

"I believe that, during our recent attempt at meditation, I was not careful enough in shielding my mind. That is when the bond occurred."

"And, does this happen often? How come it hasn't happened with any of the others you've meditated with?"

"I cannot explain why it has happened with you and no other. I can only offer my most sincere apologies"

Archer ran a hand through his hair, a gesture which showed a certain agitation of mind.

"T'Pol…some of those' he waved a hand in the direction of the padd, 'mention marriage rites. Is that the kind of bond that you and I have now?"

"The bond we share now is the preliminary stage for several kinds of ceremonies. It could become anything, depending on the next stages undertaken by the participants. Captain, I was under the impression that we were here to dissolve the bond, not to discuss it."

As she spoke, T'Pol arranged the candle in between them, then reached across it to take Archer's hands. She slowed her breathing, making herself ready for the ritual. Archer tried to remember what he had been taught when she had tried to meditate with him before. He breathed in and out slowly, focussing on the candle flame and trying not to think about what she was doing.

A few moments passed in silence, then T'Pol let go of the Captain's hands, jolting him from a trance-like state.

"The bond is getting stronger. I cannot break it, something is preventing me."

"What's stopping you?"

"I am not certain. Both parties must desire the dissolution of the bond." T'Pol almost, _almost_, looked faintly pleased, but Archer was too preoccupied to notice the expression.

"I don't know how to stop you. I'm as confused as you are, this is your people's area of expertise…humans don't need telepathy to communicate fully." Archer didn't mean for his last comment to sound like a slur on his first officer, but he was feeling angry and confused, an unusual state for the stoic Captain. As a flash of hurt flared in his mind, it suddenly occurred to the Captain that the feelings he was experiencing did not come from him, but from the seemingly emotionless being opposite him. He almost gasped as he made the realisation, the emotions roiling just below the surface of the calm Vulcan exterior, he had no idea that T'Pol, or indeed any Vulcan, worked so hard to control herself.

"I'm sorry, T'Pol, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. It's just…" the Captain broke off, he couldn't begin to explain what he felt or thought, the experience was entirely new, there was no precedent for the Captain to draw a comparison, nothing like this had ever happened before.

"what do you want to do?' he asked, 'Shall we try again?" Archer settled himself at the table again and held his hands across the table as before.

"I do not think we should continue Captain. The bond could strengthen further, which neither of us wishes."

Wordlessly, deep in their souls, each added silently 'yet'

A/N. Continue? I probably will, as I hate cliff-hangers with a fiery vengeance, but it'd be nice if I had some feedback on it


	3. Chapter 3

Wow, the responses are amazing, I'm so happy people like my story. Here's the next chapter, hope it's ok, reviewers tend to equal pressure. Please don't flame me, cos that's just not encouraging. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, love you ALL!

To on of the anonymous reviewers...I can write this story because:

I'm in England, we haven't seen Season three yet, so I can pretend it hasn't happened

It's called fan _fiction_ so that we can make it up and it doesn't have to follow the canon

---------------

"_what do you want to do?' he asked, 'Shall we try again?" Archer settled himself at the table again and held his hands across the table as before._

"_I do not think we should continue Captain. The bond could strengthen further, which neither of us wishes."_

_Wordlessly, deep in their souls, each added silently 'yet'_

"Alright then, I trust you to know what to do about this T'Pol. If you need anything, you know I'm there for you. I know you can feel that I'm telling the truth, you were right about the bond getting stronger."

Archer got up from his seat on the floor, a little stiff after being in the same position for so long. He bid his first officer goodnight, then left her quarters, heading for his own. As T'Pol's door slid closed behind him, Captain Archer met the eyes of Malcolm Reed, the armoury officer, daring him to ask why the captain had been in his executive officers rooms so late at night. Reed, never the most forward of Enterprise's command crew, dared not question his superior and after an awkward moment he simply nodded and moved away.

Back in her quarters, T'Pol took a moment to compose herself before rising from the floor. The emotions she had received from Archer were a little overwhelming, he had no idea that he was projecting strongly on to her. Humans never bothered to reign in their thoughts, there was no need while among their own people, but the untrained mind of her bonding partner had come as a slight shock to T'Pol. She moved slowly to the tiny bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. There was a deep sense of unease as she changed into her sleepwear, something she couldn't quite identify, but her finely tuned senses assured her that the feeling was indeed coming from her own mind, not a projection of Jonathon. _Captain Archer_, she swiftly corrected herself. Trying to dismiss the sensation with her impeccable logic, she climbed in to bed and slept.

------------

For Captain Archer, sleep would not come. He found himself pacing again, never a good sign, and wondered briefly if it was possible to wear a ridge in the deck plating. The thought made him chuckle to himself, which was a relief after some hours of soul searching. He was still at a loss to explain how the bonding had happened, and T'Pol hadn't given him the access codes to the restricted files, so he was left to wonder in ignorance. Archer thought he had done a pretty good job of concealing his growing admiration for their Vulcan first officer…admiration which, if he had allowed it, could easily have spiralled out of control and in to a much more dangerous emotion. Even as he thought of his feelings toward T'Pol, Archer wondered if she could feel what he felt and clamped down on the traitorous emotions immediately. He sighed to himself If he had to do that every time he thought of her, it was going to make bridgework excruciating.

As Archer lay in bed later, still unable to sleep, he caught himself searching his mind for evidence of _her_. He made himself think about the security drill scheduled at 0800 hours, the water polo match he and Trip had had sent from Earth to enjoy when they both had a free shift, anything but what he knew he was almost doing. Despite the distractions, Archer felt his mind wandering again, but this time he knew he was pushing the boundaries of his mind, trying to find her, seeing if he could feel her as he had in her quarters. With a start, he sat up in bed, realising what he had just admitted to himself. .Did I _want_ this bond? Is that why it exists? Am I happy to let a Vulcan have a free run in my mind?

Having admitted to himself why he was so restless, Archer found that sleep quickly overcame him, leaving only disturbed dreams that he couldn't remember when he woke.

His mood turned to apprehension when the Captain remembered that this would be the first time he and T'Pol had been on the bridge together since Phlox had discovered the bond. Archer wasn't sure what he should be expecting from his first officer, or what would happen when they were forced to work in close proximity for hours. Best get it over with was the Captain's pessimistic thought as he left his quarters.

But Archer was spared the confrontation for a while longer, when he arrived at the bridge to find that T'Pol's usual post behind him had been filled by Ensign Sorby, a highly competent science officer. A glance at the duty roster as he settled in the imposing Captain's chair showed that, for the foreseeable future, he and T'Pol would be working alternate shifts, an unusual occurrence on a starship, since the executive officer was the Captain's most important adviser. Archer sighed to himself, this was not what he wanted, this avoidance. Skirting the obvious issue would just make for a divided command team and that, in a battle situation, could be fatal.

Archer found himself wishing that he could speak to someone about this new and potentially fraught problem, but there wasn't anyone he could confide in. He thought briefly about speaking to Commander Tucker, but T'Pol had not authorised him to make the bond public…and he wasn't sure he could admit his own feelings to Trip. Just the thought of the look on Trip's face was enough to discourage the Captain. Archer knew his best friend had suspicions about his feelings for T'Pol, but Archer had only just admitted their true nature to himself, he didn't think he was ready to confirm them to Tucker just yet.

Besides, T'Pol didn't say I could tell anyone, this might be another of those things Vulcans don't talk about Archer thought to himself.

He put the matter out of his mind and concentrated on the still intriguing business of running a starship. Archer knew that the decisions he made would be recorded, written down and used for training, scientists would pore over his mental scans and his details would be used to train upcoming captains. The responsibility was a full time concern, so Captain Archer knew he did not have time to behave like a lovestruck schoolboy. He turned his attention to ship's business and put the matter of T'Pol and their bond as much out of his mind as possible.

------------

In her quarters, T'Pol was envying the duty crew's distraction. She had been thinking about what to do about Captain Archer since she woke from an unusually disturbed sleep, but she was no closer to a solution. In fact, the more she had pondered the more a shadow of dread had been growing in her mind, until it had taken over her thoughts. She needed to speak to someone, but there were no Vulcan ships within range which might have carried a Priest for the spiritual wellbeing of a crew so far from home and so prone at certain times to volatile emotions.

She disliked being so vulnerable, but recognised that this was an exceptional situation. She checked the duty roster then set out purposefully for Hoshi Sato's quarters.

Never one to procrastinate, T'Pol continued swiftly with her chosen course of action, ringing the door chime to Hoshi's quarters. Hoshi, a little surprised by the highly unusual visit, admitted T'Pol, then watched as the first officer began to pace the small cabin space.

"Um…SubCommander? Is there something you need me to do?" Hoshi was always a little nervous in the presence of the austere Vulcan.

The sound of Hoshi's voice caused T'Pol to start slightly, then, vexed at her slight display of emotion, she settled in to a comfortable standing stance.

"Over the course of this mission I have come to consider you as what humans call a 'friend'. There is something I wish to discuss with you, if that is acceptable?"

Hoshi, a little lost and confused, motioned to T'Pol to sit down and prepared to listen.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N This is just a short chapter I'm afraid, since I'm getting back in to university work. I'm working on the next one, it is coming along…promise

"_Over the course of this mission I have come to consider you as what humans call a 'friend'. There is something I wish to discuss with you, if that is acceptable?"_

_Hoshi, a little lost and confused, motioned to T'Pol to sit down and prepared to listen. _

"I am unsure how to proceed; this is rarely if ever discussed with another race. It is my wish that what I am about to speak to you about is not shared with any other member of the crew."

T'Pol stopped speaking and waited for a moment, then looked up at Hoshi. It suddenly occurred to the Ensign that T'Pol was waiting for confirmation that her confidences would go no further.

"Of course, Subcommander."

T'Pol took a deep breath, steadying herself,

"Do you know much about Vulcan culture?" was the unexpected question

"Um…only what the Vulcan High Command has chosen to release to the Federation so…not that much really."

"Then this is extremely classified information… Vulcans have some limited telepathic abilities, which extend to the touching of minds and reading of thoughts. These abilities allow us to link minds with our chosen partner in order to become a more effective unit. Vulcans bond for life, starting with a betrothal bond at age seven. There are different stages of bonding, for the various different roles they play in daily Vulcan life. The betrothal bond is strengthened at marriage, or dissolved if either partner wish to dedicate their life to Surak and become a priest or priestess. Am I making myself clear?"

Hoshi, her head swimming with this highly unexpected information, ventured to ask a question.

"Can you read the thoughts of the crew? My thoughts even?"

"Vulcan telepathic ability is limited to when we are touching the subject. I have been trained from childhood to shield my mind against unwanted invasion and this has enabled me to endure physical contact without the danger of linking to the mind of a member of this crew."

There was a long pause, Hoshi could sense that there was more to be said, but T'Pol seemed in no hurry to say anything further. After a lapse of a few moments, she spoke again.

"There are two main classifications of bond, one voluntary, the other involuntary. The first includes marriage ceremonies and religious vows, the second occurs between parents and children…and in rare cases between two people of marriageable age. We call this _Katra t'hy'la_, which means soulmate."

T'Pol paused and allowed Hoshi to absorb the information then continued

"The bond is named well, it only occurs in a very small number of cases and to have a _Katra t'hy'la _is celebrated on Vulcan."

Hoshi took advantage of a hesitation to ask a question

"Subcommander, I don't understand what you're trying to tell me. Your soulmate is on Vulcan?"

Hoshi was at a loss to understand why the first officer seemed so agitated, but to be missing a person so obviously important as a soul partner would account for the recent alteration to T'Pol's manner toward the Enterprise crew. But the response was certainly unexpected

"No, Ensign, that is my problem. I have inadvertently formed a _Katra t'hy'la_ bond with a member of this crew."

At once Hoshi understood, and before she could stop herself…

"The Captain?"

The shock apparent in T'Pol's eyes, if not on the rest of her face convinced Hoshi that she was right. She knew that Captain Archer cared for T'Pol, but she had no idea that T'Pol might have reciprocated those feelings, or even if she was capable of _having_ those feelings.

In a moment, T'Pol had recovered her composure and there was no hint of unsettlement in the calm Vulcan visage.

"That is correct"

"But, how is it a bad thing? Surely finding your soulmate is positive, an extremely rare occurrence, as you said."

"This has never happened between a Vulcan and any other species before. I was unaware that this type of bond could occur with a human. This will never be accepted on Vulcan, we would be ostracised, accepted in neither culture. It presents other difficulties too. It means that it will be difficult for us to be apart for any length of time and…it will require some substantial adjustments on the part of Captain Archer."

"How do you mean, adjustments? Is this something you should be discussing with him? I don't mean to discourage you from talking to me, but this kind of thing, on Earth, is best discussed between the couple themselves."

"Perhaps it would be better to speak to the Captain. I…appreciate your speaking to me. Thank you, for understanding." T'Pol got up slowly and moved to the door. She turned at the hatch, turned back for a moment, then opened the door and stepped outside.

Hoshi was left in her quarters, not really understanding how she had helped, or if she had helped. But there had been something, an indefinable moment had passed between the two women, which possibly meant more to Hoshi than any conversation she had had with the Subcommander. For a moment, it felt like she had helped a friend, and that she was the first friend T'Pol had ever had. She hoped that her two commanding officers would be able to sort out their problems; it seemed that everyone on board thought they would make a great couple.

A/N…next chapter (I think) will bring the two back together, but I can't be sure, this thing kinda writes itself


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry its taken so long, but I had essays and things. Hope you enjoy this next chapter.

"_Perhaps it would be better to speak to the Captain. I…appreciate your speaking to me. Thank you, for understanding." T'Pol got up slowly and moved to the door. She turned at the hatch, turned back for a moment, then opened the door and stepped outside._

T'pol stood out in the corridor, reflecting for a moment on what had passed between herself and Ensign Sato. She debated going to see the Captain that very night, but she felt that more time was needed before she confronted her feelings, and left herself open to rejection if the captain didn't feel the same. Planning a night of meditation in preparation for her expected ordeal, T'Pol moved to her quarters and settled in for the night.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

On the other side of the ship, Captain Archer moved about in his sleep, before finally waking with a start. He had been dreaming and had an uneasy sense of déjà vu, the dream seemed oddly familiar and yet completely alien at the same time. It soon became clear that he would not drop back to sleep anytime soon, and his thoughts turned, as they had frequently in the last few days, to his first officer and the link which they now shared. Almost as soon as he thought of T'Pol he realised that he had been trying to feel her again, sense her presence on the ship. Archer had no idea how he was doing this, or if the sensations he described were actually happening. All Archer knew was that on some primitive level, his mind needed something, an indefinable piece of a mental puzzle, and that missing piece belonged to T'Pol.

For what seemed like the thousandth time, Archer thought about confiding in Trip Tucker, his best friend and Chief Engineer. He had so far avoided the subject, because he knew what Trip generally thought of Vulcans. On the other hand, Jonathon really needed someone to speak to. His nights had become a long round of sleeplessness, broken dreams and worry, and his days had begun to blend together as he put all his effort into running the ship and being a worthy representative of the human race in the vastness of space. That pressure alone was enough to affect even the most stoic of men, but Captain Archer had been chosen for this mission because of the extraordinary force of his personality as much as for his leadership abilities. Now he felt that his ability to function effectively was being compromised, and that was unacceptable to his strong sense of duty. Suddenly reaching his decision, Archer sent Commander Tucker a message through the internal comm. system, asking for a meeting the following morning. Having made a choice, Archer found that sleep came more easily, but the dreams, in which he was searching restlessly, continued to trouble his rest.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Come in" called Archer

The door cycled open and Commander Tucker stepped in for their 0800 meeting. They were in the Captain's private dining room off the main Mess Hall and as Tucker sat down the Captain's steward placed a plate of scrambled eggs on the table in front of each man. Trip started his meal right away; he'd pulled an all-nighter and was more than ready for breakfast. After a few bites he noticed that Jonathan wasn't eating, which was unusual, but on a second closer inspection, the Captain looked tired, drained even, so Trip put down his fork and looked at his friend, waiting for whatever explanation Jonathan felt he needed to give.

Captain Archer took a deep breath, then started on the speech he had mentally prepared as he dressed that morning.

"Trip, you remember those…phases I was having? When you took me to see the doctor?' at Trip's nod he went on, 'well, we found out what they were." Now that he was actually saying the words they sounded dumb, even to himself. Jonathan owed it to himself and his friend to be as honest as possible, but, he wondered to himself, how do you confess that you accidentally mind bonded with your Vulcan first officer? There was always the direct route…

"Trip, um, there was something else that the Vulcans didn't tell us. They're semi telepathic and it appears that T'Pol and I accidentally performed some sort of bonding while meditating. That's what the lapses were; I was trying to adjust, without really knowing what had happened."

Trip sat still in his chair, trying to absorb the information. He looked at Archer as if to make sure he wasn't joking, but he saw only resignation in his friend's eyes. He let out a long whistle, not really knowing how to respond, but then a flood of questions came to his mind.

"Did she know this could happen? Did she do it on purpose, another way of spyin' on us? What are you gonna do about it?"

Archer began to answer while Trip was taking a breath

"NO, Trip, she didn't do this on purpose. It's a very intimate thing for Vulcans, that's why they don't tell us that it can be done. It was an accident, a mental slip and we're trying to fix it. I just needed to tell someone, it's been driving me crazy, keeping secrets and avoiding her in the hallways"

With the uncanny sense that his best friends had come to expect, Trip knew there was something else that Archer wasn't telling him. A single quizzical look, perfectly placed, and a well timed question were the tools of Tucker's trade and he applied them with skill.

"What else did she tell you about this…bond that you guys have got?"

Archer sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "we've already tried to dissolve it, but something was stopping her. And I think that it might have been me" These last words were spoken so low that Trip wasn't sure he had heard them right.

"You stopped her from doin' whatever she needed to do in your minds?

"She said that both parties must want the link to be severed…and I'm not sure that I do."

Trip looked incredulously at his Captain, his friend, and comprehension dawned on the engineer.

"You love her, don't you?"

Looking almost miserable, Archer nodded slowly, then made his final confession

"And I've been trying to search her mind for some evidence that she feels the same"

"You can do that? Wow, that's pretty amazin' I'd love to see the mind of the woman I loved.' a small pause, then 'Jon, you know what you've got to do, and you don't need me to tell you. You've got to talk to T'Pol about this, the bond, how you feel, everything. And then get back to running the ship, what you're best at. Hey, you know, if you need me, I'm a willin' ear." and with that Trip got up and left the Captain alone with his thoughts.

But Archer didn't want to be alone, now that he had a plan he wanted to set it in motion as soon as possible. Knowing that T'Pol would be on bridge duty Archer left his dining room, passed through the main Mess Hall, barely returning the greetings of the crew, merely nodding at many of them as he moved with purpose towards the corridor. He was halfway to the turbolift when a voice sounded over the ship's comm.

"T'Pol to Captain Archer."

The voice was as clipped and emotionless as usual but something caused Archer's heart, clichéd as it seemed even to him, to beat a little faster. He answered the hail,

"Archer here"

"Captain, would it be possible to see you in your ready room? There has been a communiqué from Admiral Forrest and the Vulcan High Command."

"I'm on my way now Subcommander, Archer out"

Archer continued his way to the bridge, deep in thought, wondering what the latest news from the Admiral brought for the crew of the _Enterprise_. He sighed to himself…that talk with T'Pol would just have to wait.

A/N sorry it's still not finished, but it's getting there I promise! Please review if you have time or inclination, thank you!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N Thank you so much for all the reviews and I'm so sorry it's taken this long to get the next chapter out. Please don't hate me, but it's still not finished, deep apologies for that, but it just stopped…I think the next chapter will be the last one, but don't trust me on that. Thanks again, enjoy!

Disclaimer: No infringement intended, characters not owned by me

"_Captain, would it be possible to see you in your ready room? There has been a communiqué from Admiral Forrest and the Vulcan High Command."_

"_I'm on my way now Subcommander, Archer out"_

_Archer continued his way to the bridge, deep in thought, wondering what the latest news from the Admiral brought for the crew of the Enterprise. He sighed to himself…that talk with T'Pol would just have to wait. _

He strode on to the bridge and glanced at the viewscreen, observing his crew at their work as he took in the whole bridge. He walked past T'Pol's station, aware of her presence but choosing not to start their discussion in front of the entire senior staff. He moved across behind the captain's chair and entered his ready room. The door had barely cycled closed when the chime sounded, the Captain barked a terse 'come in' and turned around from his place by the window to greet T'Pol.

Archer tried to force the residual awkwardness away, to act as if nothing had changed, but it was difficult to pretend that nothing had changed when he could feel T'Pol's mind plucking at the edge of his own consciousness. He took a deep breath

"You can patch Admiral Forrest's message through now."

"I regret that some small subterfuge was necessary to ensure your presence on the bridge."

Archer was slow to grasp quite what T'Pol was saying

"What?"

"There is no communiqué…I…apologise for deceiving you, Captain, but I did not think you would be willing to meet with me. It has become necessary to speak to you regarding our situation."

Archer suddenly felt trapped, and unaccountably belligerent towards his executive officer, assuming a confrontational stance and fully prepared to argue with her. He raised his head to begin the seemingly inevitable fight, but before he could open his mouth T'Pol stepped closer to him, placing her right hand on his face and using her left to restrain the Captain. He distantly noted that she was more than a match for him physically, then focussed on what she was doing.

T'Pol had her eyes closed, her breathing deep and regular, movements Archer recognised from their meditations. He was just about to say something, protest, anything, but at that moment she pulled away and stepped back, putting a little distance between them. Archer was too shocked to speak, he had been expecting an order from Starfleet, and his brain was having trouble adjusting to the present situation. T'Pol pushed at him gently and he sat heavily on a corner of his desk, still rather shocked, looking up at his first officer and mutely demanding an answer.

"Captain, I apologise again. This will take some considerable explanation and I would ask you not to ask questions at this time." The Subcommander took moment to compose her thoughts then launched in to her prepared speech

"I informed you that Vulcans bond mentally, and I led you to believe that these bonds were commonplace in my culture. Voluntary bonds, such as that of marriage and betrothal, are numerous on Vulcan, indeed almost every child is bonded at age five. These connections must be nurtured with time and thus grow stronger for both parties. The participants must desire a stronger bond in order for this to continue, it is these partnerships which make the strongest marriages…if one partner is discontented with the bond it will not progress. There is, however, a second type of bond which we are aware of, known as _Katra t'hy'la_. This connection is involuntary, and cannot be dissolved." At this T'Pol looked in to the Captain's eyes for the first time in her speech and saw that her guarded explanation was only confusing him further.

"On Earth, you have a children's toy called a jigsaw puzzle, is this correct?' Archer nodded, 'the pieces fit together perfectly to form a picture from chaos. The _Katra t'hy'la _is similar; two pieces of a puzzle are joined together, sometimes without the active participation of those involved. I believe humans have a similar concept, of soulmates. For humans it is a fantasy, but for Vulcans it is a reality…this is the bond that we now share, our minds have found their mate and we cannot break it."

Archer, having listened to the explanation, given in T'Pol's customary calm, almost monotone voice, motioned for her to sit and began to organise the million questions he wanted to ask.

"So you're saying that our minds are linked, that the link will continue to grow and that there is nothing we can do about it?"

T'Pol gave one curt nod

"And how will this affect us? Will it change the way we work? What?"

"We will need to meditate together regularly, but otherwise there should be no effects. We will, in time, be able to read each other's thoughts and project to each other."

Archer, painfully aware of his own feelings towards his subordinate, began to get angry, with her and with himself. He hated to feel out of control and he hated that T'Pol was seemingly unaffected by the monumental change she had wrought in his life. He forgot that this bond was not T'Pol's fault, that she did not form it alone and that Vulcans were trained from an early age to suppress their emotions, which was causing the apparent detachment of the Sub-Commander. He got up from his seat on the desk and almost began to pace, but caught himself just in time. He swung round to face his first officer, who merely looked questioningly at him, eyebrow raised. The simple, spare gesture inflamed Archer's temper even further, and he couldn't stop himself. The words spilled from his mouth without resting in his mind long enough for him to process them, leaving his very little time to realise what he was saying, or what he was admitting to.

"Do you actually care what this is going to do? Do you even _know_? You might be able to pretend that you have no feelings but did it ever occur to you that other people might not have that option?' he sighed deeply, 'This is going to…no this _has_ changed my life, the way I command, everything and you just stand there like nothing has happened!"

Archer did not realise that as he was abusing T'Pol verbally, he was also projecting his feelings mentally, throwing the equivalent of a mental bomb at her, amplified by the strengthening bond. And among the anger were many other emotions, T'Pol could sense them all, even those Captain Archer was not aware of himself. She felt the anger, the rage, directed partly, irrationally, at her and, more oddly, at himself. She found shame, hurt and buried deep in the back of his mind a more positive emotion, one that the captain seemed to by suppressing, holding back and at the same time daring to hope that it could grow to be more.

Dimly aware that Archer was still speaking, and getting louder, T'Pol realised that she had to do something and without thinking of the consequences, she reached with her mind.

The sensation was enough to effectively stop Archer mid flow, and allowed T'Pol a moment to step forward and place her hand on the side of the Captain's face, looking deeply in to his eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Here's the next chapter, the damn thing's still not finished, but it is getting there. I'm in the middle of exams at the moment, so that's why it's taken so long, sorry. Hopefully the next one should be along soon, thank you all for being so patient, and thank you to all you wonderful reviewers!

_Dimly aware that Archer was still speaking, and getting louder, T'Pol realised that she had to do something and without thinking of the consequences, she reached with her mind. _

_The sensation was enough to effectively stop Archer mid flow, and allowed T'Pol a moment to step forward and place her hand on the side of the Captain's face, looking deeply in to his eyes. _

Tendrils of her thoughts reached out and sought an entrance to the deeper recesses of Archer's mind. T'Pol had no idea what she was doing, but it felt instinctively right, an age old pattern played out anew between each rare pair.

Except that something was not happening, she knew in her soul that there should be more, a joining of minds, not unlike a mind meld, but infinitely more personal and accepted by both parties. Even as she thought this, T'Pol came to realise that Archer was standing still, had not touched her, had not moved, since the first moments of their encounter. With an almost human feeling of dread, she realised that the Captain was not joining with her. He was not rejecting the bond, but he was equally not allowing it to progress.

The anxiety she felt seemed to fade away, pushed under a layer of Vulcan control as T'Pol stepped back from Archer and settled her features in to a calm indifference.

"If there is nothing else Captain" she said, in a ghastly monotone. Archer opened his mouth but before he could speak and, she feared, reject her verbally as well as mentally, she spun on her heel and left the ready room.

Archer, in a state of total astonishment, visibly shook himself, then sat down at his desk. There were no words for how he was feeling; he didn't think any human had ever experienced that before. He had been terrified, but also exhilarated, scared to jump but unafraid to fly, shocked and yet expectant. Any number of comparisons danced through his mind until the truth hit him like a warp five engine. He had been scared to let anyone in to his life, let alone T'Pol, of all people, he was most afraid of her, knowing him inside and out. And whatever she had been trying to do with him, his fear had prevented it, a seeming rejection. Archer wanted nothing more at that moment than to beat his head against the solid bulkhead. He tried to search with his mind, reaching out to the part of his mind he now recognised as T'Pol, but it was like a mental brick wall. T'Pol might be a Vulcan, but she was still a woman and, it seemed not taking rejection lightly.

He wanted to stay in his ready room until the shift was over, and he could leave the bridge without walking past her or having to sit for another few hours knowing that she was just behind him, critically appraising his every move. But Archer knew his duty, and he was sure that, somewhere in his past, he had endured worse than this. He just couldn't remember when.

By the end of the shift, Archer was sure he had never suffered quite so badly. He handed control of the bridge to the Beta shift, moving to his quarters, but somehow ended up outside T'Pol's instead. He stood outside for several minutes, debating his course of action. For the second time in as many days, Archer saw Lieutenant Reed strolling along the corridor. The Englishman acknowledged the Captain, as protocol demanded, and continued down the hallway. Archer wondered briefly why he was on that deck, he knew Reed's quarters were at least two decks down. But then Archer remembered that Hoshi Sato was housed on this level, and a sudden smirk spoke of his realisation. But, back to the current problem, Archer faced T'Pol's door and decided he had to do something, before any more curious crewmembers came along.

He buzzed for entry and identified himself, not sure whether to expect a welcome or a swift 'Get out'. The door cycled open and Archer stepped inside, hoping that his subconscious knew what to do, since his conscious mind had no idea. Something within his brain had some idea of what he should be doing, and he started to speak almost as soon as he got inside, barely waiting for the hatch to close behind him.

"T'Pol, I've got to apologise for the way I acted earlier. It was completely unreasonable and you didn't deserve to be spoken to like that. I was, I don't know, but I wasn't in control of my own feelings or actions. It was irrational, but that's still no excuse…I wish I had a better way of explaining it. I wish I could make you understand what I was feeling when you tried to touch my mind, and more than anything, I want you to understand that I didn't reject you."

These words were out of Archer's mouth before he could even register his surroundings, darker than he had ever seen them; a single candle lit on a small table provided the only illumination. He realised that he must have inadvertently interrupted T'Pol at her evening meditations and cursed silently at this next example of his stupidity. He suddenly thought to look around for the Subcommander, to whom he had been addressing these personal thoughts. At first it appeared that she was not in her quarters, making Archer feel like a prize fool /again/ he thought to himself. But as his sight adjusted to the dim lighting, Archer saw a pair of smouldering eyes, shadowed by the darkness, looking out at him with an indefinable expression.

The mesmerising spell was broken by a crisp voice,

"Computer, lights, half illumination"

T'Pol unfolded herself from her position on the one, stiff backed, uncomfortable, typically Vulcan chair. She quirked an eyebrow at Archer and invited him to prove the truth of his unrehearsed statements.

"Show me"


	8. Chapter 8

Next chapter, they're getting longer at least… I don't want to say this is nearing the end, because I can't guarantee it! Thanks again to reviewers, I love you all

_T'Pol unfolded herself from her position on the one, stiff backed, uncomfortable, typically Vulcan chair. She quirked an eyebrow at Archer and invited him to prove the truth of his unrehearsed statements. _

"_Show me"_

"I…what?" Archer was clearly not in full control of his faculties, since he seemed incapable of answering, of forming even a rudimentary response. In his mind the cogs were turning, asking what the invitation meant, whether T'Pol meant what it sounded like she meant. He decided to try and explain a little of what had been running through his mind since their encounter in his ready room.

"I've never felt this way before, I know' Archer paused, hearing how clichéd his words sounded, even to himself, 'I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true, this whole 'soulmates' thing, you were right, for humans it is a fantasy, something we longed to have but knew couldn't logically exist" /ironic really,he mused to himself/ that the principle of soulmates should be proven true by the most logical race in the known galaxy/

T'Pol gave a small quirk of her lips, almost a smile, but not quite and Archer realised with a jolt that she had heard his thought, she was letting him back in to their link.

The captain, a little pleasure addled from this realisation made an effort to get his thoughts, such as they were, back on to the subject.

"And to now be confronted with the reality, it's a lot to take in all at once. Until a few hours ago I had no idea that this occurred on Vulcan, let alone between Vulcans and Humans" but he realised that he had not yet explained his reaction to T'Pol's attempted joining earlier. Archer really did not want to speak his concerns aloud, to voice them would make them a little too real, yet he couldn't let his first officer believe he had not wanted to strengthen their bond. Suddenly he had an epiphany

"Can we try again" he made his voice a little more formal and yet a little pleading at the same time, "T'Pol, would you?"

T'Pol nodded briskly, extending two fingers towards the Captain, indicating that he should make a similar gesture. When their outstretched fingers touched, Archer felt a little flutter of butterflies in his stomach, but he couldn't be sure that it was a result of the touch or if it was just the tension. What happened next, he was sure, was nothing to do with his nerves.

A warm sensation ran from his fingers, moving up his arm and just kept spreading throughout his body. T'Pol moved her right hand up to imitate her posture earlier in Archer's ready room, cupping his face, then positioning her fingers carefully, near his temple and under his chin. Archer wanted to open up, he wanted T'Pol to touch his mind in the same way she had inexplicably touched his heart. He took a deep breath; feeling his mind relax and a tiny tendril of thought brush his conscious mind, light as a feather.

Suddenly, and at the same time, as if he had planned it all along, Archer twisted, trapping T'Pol's hands, one on his face, the other between their bodies. Having made it so far, Archer checked for an instant before betting all he had on this single throw of the dice of life. He ignored T'Pol's look of surprise, and kissed her, tentatively at first, but with more heat when it became apparent that she wasn't going to throw him across the room. She was clearly unaccustomed to kissing, so Archer did no more than press his lips against hers, then pulled back to judge the result of his rash actions.

The look of surprise was still on her face, both eyebrows working overtime and her mouth slightly open in shock. Archer, feeling, for what felt like the hundredth time, like smacking some sense in to himself, set T'Pol upright and moved his hands from her upper arms, standing back and moving out of her personal space. But as he stepped back, T'Pol moved forward. Unsure of his actions, Archer continued to move backwards until his back was against the bulkhead and his first officer was between him and the door. He wasn't sure what he had started, but he felt a flicker of fear at the intense look in T'Pol's eyes.

She closed the remaining distance between them, still silent. T'Pol had no idea what had been awakened in her mind, but it was as if she had a terrible thirst, and the only relief would be to join with the man before her. It was an intense need, but a need of the mind, not of the body. She knew that they must now complete the puzzle, fuse the two halves of their minds and souls and cement the bond. There was no turning back, and with that thought, T'Pol leaned forward and initiated another kiss with her captain. She could feel his reaction, sense his thoughts and knew that he could do the same. Being so open was both terrifying and liberating at the same time, there could be no secrets and no lies. Dimly aware that they were still leaning against the bulkhead, still pressed closely together, T'Pol made a move as if to step back, but hands held her shoulders, keeping her in place. A sensation almost like relief washed over the subcommander, here was proof that Archer accepted the bond, even wished for more.

At last, Archer broke the kiss but did not move from his position, leaning his forehead against T'Pol's, not daring to say anything. She stepped away first, allowing Archer room to move away from the metal bulkhead. T'Pol looked a little dishevelled but otherwise there was no indication of her actions of the last few moments. Archer looked similarly tousled but his emotions were plain on his face, confusion, elation and any number of other confusing words tumbled through his mind.

For the first time since he had come to her quarters, T'Pol spoke, her voice even and controlled

"No doubt you will wish to consider the implications of our link; might I suggest scheduling a meeting at a more convenient time so that we may discuss it? Tomorrow perhaps?"

"Are you serious?', Archer was incredulous, 'you can just brush it off like that? You really don't have any emotion do you? How is it possible that I could be in love with you? How could I be so stupid as to trust my heart to the one person incapable of returning my feelings?" The captain had not meant to say these thoughts aloud, but he heard himself say them all the same. He moved purposefully towards the door of T'Pol's quarters but was surprised when she held his arm in a vice like grip. Her eyes were like chips of ice as she looked into Archer's face and slowly put pressure on his arm, bringing him to face her. This time it was more forceful and T'Pol opened her mind, allowing it to wrap around Archer's and letting him feel all that she felt.

Archer had no idea that under T'Pol's calm exterior there were so many emotions roiling that she worked so hard to keep under control. He detected ambition, desire, fear, longing, happiness and any number of sensations which flitted by too quickly for him to identify. The intensity was incredible and Archer marvelled at the strength T'Pol had to possess in order to keep control. The moment ended and this time Archer was the first to speak

"I don't think I can wait until tomorrow"


	9. Chapter 9

_Archer had no idea that under T'Pol's calm exterior there were so many emotions roiling that she worked so hard to keep under control. He detected ambition, desire, fear, longing, happiness and any number of sensations which flitted by too quickly for him to identify. The intensity was incredible and Archer marvelled at the strength T'Pol had to possess in order to keep control. The moment ended and this time Archer was the first to speak_

"_I don't think I can wait until tomorrow"_

A few minutes later found the Captain and Subcommander seated, as they had so often been in the past few days, on either side of T'Pol's table. Both commanding officers were trying to calm themselves, with T'Pol obviously being more successful than Archer.

"Captain, we should do this at another time, there is too much to be discussed for it to be done with any speed."

"I'm not tired and you're not on shift again for 18 hours. T'Pol, I really think I need to understand what has happened here, and you're the only one who can explain it"

"Very well. What do you wish to know?"

"Well, for starters, does this mean that you…I mean, I don't want to presume on your feelings" Archer could feel himself getting embarrassed and stopped talking before he could make a complete idiot of himself /again/ he thought wryly

"This bond is of the mind, not the body, but I believe I have been having some romantic feelings towards you. You must understand that this has never happened to me before, on Vulcan children do not experiment with their feelings, do not get 'crushes', nothing. I am hoping that you will help me to decipher my feelings."

Archer smiled internally, that was near enough the answer he had been hoping for, he knew that this experience was likely to be quite scary for T'Pol, and as intense as anyone's first experience with strong emotions. He just wanted to help her get through it, but he restrained himself to a short nod, knowing that T'Pol would appreciate the moderation.

"This isn't going to be easy, is it? We're going to have to work to get people to accept this, aren't we?"

"It is unlikely that we will find acceptance on Vulcan, and attitudes are somewhat hostile to my people on Earth. Even some of the Enterprise crew might be shocked by our bonding"

"T'Pol, I don't think I've said this to you yet, but…I love you. And it's taken me a long time to realise it, and even longer to accept it, and if it hadn't been for this bond I don't think I would have had the courage to tell you. You and I are meant to be together, this bond proves it, and nothing is going to separate us now, not Starfleet, not the High Command, and not small minded people who think that what we have is wrong. I'm not going to push you in to anything that you don't want, but I'm not going to let you go."

"Jonathan…may I call you that?', Archer nodded, smiling slightly, 'I cannot show my feelings in the same way as you, I will continue to act in the same way towards you, I cannot behave in any other way. However, you will be able, in time, to feel my thoughts, and I hope that you will be reassured that I feel deeply for you, although I will not show it."

A moment passed in silence, before Archer spoke again

"This feels a little weird, doesn't it?"

"It does have a sense of the unfamiliar" T'Pol agreed

"One last thing T'Pol, do you want to tell the crew or not?"

"I believe it would be best if we did not inform the crew at once. I would appreciate some time to allow our bond to grow and become stronger. However, I see no reason why we should not tell our close friends, there is no need to keep our bond a secret, indeed, if we were on Vulcan we would have been subject to several public rites at the temple on Seleya. This _Katra t'hy'la _is very rare; there have been fewer than 5 pairs in the last two centuries on Vulcan. It will be necessary to meditate more often together, in order to strengthen the link. We will be able to have some sense of each other's feelings when touching, then when in the same room and, if the bond progresses to the normal pattern, eventually over larger distances." T'Pol stopped speaking and as she did Archer realised the time

"I should let you get some rest; it was selfish of me to keep you from your sleep. I'll speak to you tomorrow, ok?" Archer stood from his position at the table and moved towards the door, then turned back...

"How do Vulcan's feel about kissing goodnight?"

"T'Pol extended her two fingers again, waiting for Archer to mimic the gesture.

"This is how Vulcans kiss' at the surprised look on Archer's face she lifted an eyebrow, 'however, I find that I quite enjoy experimenting with the human version" at this she leaned forward and captured the Captain's willing lips in a chaste kiss, the contact causing Archer to feel a slightly mischievous streak, almost entirely hidden beneath stoic calm. He smiled in to the kiss, then broke it gently and left T'Pol's quarters.

Captain Archer felt elated as he walked along the corridor, but he knew that his relationship with the Subcommander would not be easy. He was deep in thought as he moved through the ship, barely noticing Malcolm Reed on yet another midnight sojourn /the man must just not need sleep/ Archer thought to himself vaguely. By the time Archer had reached his own quarters he was no nearer to a conclusion, and he continued thinking about the situation as he got ready for bed and fed Porthos. He found himself distantly wondering if his children with T'Pol would have pointed ears and a calm demeanour, or if they would inherit his temper instead. As he caught himself speculating on this issue he asked himself a vital question…would he fight for T'Pol? Would he be willing to fight every level of Starfleet, every local prejudice, every snide comment from a respected colleague?

And the answer was simple: yes. He would not, could not allow himself to turn his back on their bond, everything it was and everything it promised to be in time. He knew, in the deep recesses of his heart and mind, that it would not be an easy task, that no matter now he worked, some people would remain judgemental and closed minded. This would be a long struggle, but one made bearable by the presence of T'Pol in his life. This much Archer knew, throughout his whole being, and that was all anybody could say for now…after all, he had become a Starfleet Captain looking for adventure, and life had just handed him a _most_ enjoyable challenge.

A/N bloody hell, I think it's finished! Thank you to everyone who read, and those who reviewed. If you've any desire/ideas for a sequel, let me know, I'm always happy with feedback. Feels like the end of an era…sniff….

WfmS


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